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Job Descriptions: What they really mean!

So, I quit the job I was complaining about back in August. The wisdom of that decision is debatable, but I'm here to discuss something else.

Sifting through craigslist ads and whatnot, and extrapolating from my own work experience, here are some common bullshit job criteria that keep popping up, and what it all really means:

"Must be a team player." Translation: Must be able to work with difficult/stupid/unbalanced coworkers and/or bosses without doing them bodily harm.

"Strong ability to multitask." Translation: Ability to do your job, as well as the jobs of at least two other people.

"You will not have a static job description." Translation: We have no idea what we're doing, and we're just going to throw random stuff at you and expect it to get done.

Anyone else got any?

This is going to be short but nonetheless

It really irks me that this one girl at work thinks it's 'beneath her' to send emails to members. Instead of acutally sending a member a quick email, when she KNOWS THE ANSWER SINCE SHE FELT THE NEED TO COME AND TELL ME WHAT TO PUT IN THE FUCKEN EMAIL...she forwards them to me. It's her own fucken fault for leaving a very important part out of the email to begin with.

Garh... why do I have to do all the shit around here. I only got a 27 cent raise this year and bitchface gets to complain that SHE should be manager. Until I get a raise you can shut your pilehole and quit complaining.

K thanks!

ps: I just found out that they're drafing an email, but no one BOTHERED to tell me that, despite having it having to go to finance department to be approved. Yes thanks for actually keeping me in the loop guys... gah!


Seems quiet here.  Maybe a post might kickstart it?

I have an Obnoxious CoWorker (OCoW), who I can only describe as sullen, brooding, arrogant, self-serving, professionally and socially inept, explosive, rude, incindiary, and lazy.  (Don't hold back, Alice....)

The best that humanity has to offerCollapse )

I always thought that he would one day be on CNN for workplace violence or...he'll surely be promoted to mid to upper level management.

Sep. 30th, 2009

Fucking hell, I hate my job. Apparently, Lord o' Leeds Gas has decreed that all advocates (that's House of Gas speak for Helper Monkeys) will do a minimum of three hours 'phone time every day. That's three hours taking meter readings, producing bills and taking card payments. That's three hours of the House's supposedly best and brightest doing a job someone who's been there a month could do, instead of supporting said newcomers and all the other Phone Monkieys with complicated or confusing enquiries that we, the Helper Monkeys, have been specifically fucking trained for.Read more...Collapse )
I worked at Nevada Bob's Golf for about two years, and this day above all others still sticks out in my mind. THis isn't  ahorror story, but rather the strangest day of my working life.

2 customers, 1 day.Collapse )

I trained four years for THIS?

Yeah. That's right. Four years to actually land this job. 

Read on for slavery.Collapse )Read on for a tale of borderline slavery.Collapse )

Jun. 30th, 2009

Background: Slightly higher-than-your-average Phone Monkey in a call centre for a Big Energy Company. Advocates, or Helper Monkeys as they are more commonly known, take on more complex cases from a team of Phone Monkeys and manage them until either they are resolved or the advocate kills themselves from the stupidity of those who she must deal with.

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At lunch tomorrow, I am going to buy a bottle of drain unclogger and a box of injectin' needles, and every person who wastes my time with another soul-destroying display of dimwittedness is going to get stabbed in the neck with a syringe full of agonising death.
Two people run our store. Me and my really good coworker.
She's responsible, dependable, honest, and great with the customers.

Our boss called the other day and bitched out my coworker, while she was with a customer. She reamed her because our sales are low. Every store's sales are low right now. Our numbers are not far off from every other store!

She yelled at her because my coworker refuses to go to a training session. She would have to go on one of her weekend days, drive 6 hours round trip, and spend the full day in training. And get this, the company will not pay for her gas, any expenses, and refuses to pay for her training.

I don't think many people would be willing to put up with that.

Cross posted from: worst_boss_ever

Customer Service, How I Hate Thee

Just found this community and glad I did! I have a few stories to share but this one is always my favourite and holds a special place in my heart.

Blame me for everything, why don't ya?Collapse )
About a week after I started my job I began to look into getting insurance. Anytime a question is asked at my place of employment the standard answer is "i don't know".

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Really though, it is worse than all this, I should just post the emails from her straight on here, I was really being kind about it... this girl is an idiot.

I think it is pretty standard for people to wonder what their insurance policy is covering... that is just a normal thing.

it makes me laugh how dumb these people are.